It's introspective and I want to introspect

I had an epiphany today. Well not exactly, but it hit me as to why I'm taking the path I'm taking in life.

In the past people have asked me why I want to go back to University to do a Pharmacy degree and my reply has been something along the lines of "Drugs are interesting and do you know how much pharmacists can earn?!". In a shallow way that was a fairly accurate reason for my career choice. Hey, it's going to cost me over 12 grand, but I'll make it back fairly quickly, I reasoned.

Well, back to the present epiphanied Lola. I was in work today and for a change I ended up spring cleaning the lab in preparation for the audit we have coming up. From the last post most people could guess that I resent work, and those people would be absolutely right, but today I wasn't at all peeved at being demoted to a cleaner. In fact I was quite pleased to go and get on with it, scrubbing the surfaces, cleaning dust from corners and equipment etc. No, I haven't discovered my calling as a cleaner, in fact my parents could tell you I'm usually as lazy as sin when it comes to housekeeping. The reason why I liked this task was the complete randomness of it.

Picture this, you work at a pharmaceutical company, you do test after test in a lab, with only a brief reprise for a write up before you have to go and do another test. The tests are, in themselves different but it's all lab work. Pipettes and volumetric flasks dance before your eyes on a day to day basis (not literally) and it becomes mundane. So when the chance to do something different comes along, like spring cleaning a lab for example it's a novelty, and escape from the routine. It provides variety to a job, and that I now know, is what I crave.

I must admit it's very unusual for a capricorn to crave variety rather than set down routines, but now that I understand that is what I need, everything else about my choice of career has clicked into place. Pharmacy, despite popular belief is such a varied career. On a typical day in the life of a hospital pharmacist one can meet different patients, consult with other healthcare professionals and deal with problems on an individual basis. Of course there is the aspect of making up the prescriptions, which cannot have too much variety for the patients sake, but the other parts more than make up for it. And if I become bored of the hospital, well there is always community pharmacy. If I want to reduce my workload, hello to locum work. If I fancy something radically different there's always academia, or working in a pharmaceutical company (although NOT as an analyst!). And if I tire of them, I can go back into practise again. It is such a flexible career, and that is a big part of the reason I am drawn to it. This is the career I want and I think I'm going to work hard to get it.

If you read this far you deserve a prize, go buy yourself a cookie.

Bonus points for anyone who knows where the quote in my post title is from.

Autumn blues

Hello all,

I know it's been a while, my world seems to revolve around work at the moment, and despite realising that it's really good experience and a moneymaker, I resent it for taking up most of my day. Grr. Maybe I should organise a day trip and take a day off for it. Plus my glands are swollen and it's starting to hurt when I swallow (not in a filthy way, you dirty minded people). I hope I'm not coming down with tonsilitis again. I used to get it all the time when I was younger. At one point it was a regular thing, once every two or three months I'd be croaking and once I was rushed to the doctors surgery because Mum thought I had lockjaw.

Anyway, I can't really think of anything to blog about today, so I'm going to recommend some of my favourite blogs for you to go away and have a read of;

Musings from the Mind of Karen: This is the blog of a friend of mine, she's currently a student teacher preparing to teach RE to young minds. A witty and entertaining blog with some thought provoking posts.

Carmelo Alongi: A student paramedic in London. Great insight into the trials and tribulations of student life, and gives you a good idea what it's like learning to be a paramedic.


Twenty-three and Counting: A great blog with a different theme each week.

The Company Bitch: Absolutely hilarious, need I say more?

Nee Naw: The blog of an Emergency Medical Dispatcher in the LAS. Good stuff

Ok, it's getting close to the time where I should be getting ready for work rather than sitting here blogging, so for the moment if you want to know which other blogs I read, check out my links at the side of the page and happy reading!

Grrr, work.

Poledancing baaaaaaaad

Hello all.

I'm still recovering from a night out on saturday. My arms are stiff and aching, and I have somewhat hard to explain bruises on my inner thighs. All because the place we were in had poles. So fun to swing around at the time, but hurts like hell later on. I seriously need to get fit! Owww.

Bookworm

I apologise for slighty neglecting this blog, part of the reason is that I'm getting back into my reading. When I was younger I was never seen without a book in my hand, Mum used to constantly tell me off for reading a book while I was walking. I honestly can't recall the number of lamposts she had to drag me out of the way of as I was along with my nose buried deeply in my book.

This behaviour has slowly tailed off over the years what with my active social life (I wish!), but when I was on holiday I managed to get through 7 books in a space of 14 days, and these weren't thin books either. So about a month ago I went to my local library and acquired a brand spanking new library card (and a funky keyring fob) as I'd lost my old one, and got out a bunch of books. Anyhow I finished them a little while ago, and so this week I returned them and got out a whole new bunch of books to read.

I felt like a bit of an intellectual as I checked out books which included; Catch 22 and Nineteen-eighty-four by George Orwell, however I can't help but think this image was ruined by the "rude and politically incorrect jokes" book I also checked out...

Now I get roughly to the point of this post, I want to read lots but I don't know which books to go for usually. If anyone reads this and has a particular favourite book to recommend I'd be ever so grateful. Now, back to the task at hand, sitting in bed with "Dress your family in corduroy and denim". This is the life.

A theatre review

This weekend I was in the capital for a little culture. I apologise for not telling you all before I went, but I don't think you missed me anyhow, heh.

Anyway, while I was there I managed to see two shows, Wicked and The Last Five Years. Both fantastic musicals which I shall go into in a little more detail later.

This weekend was a bit of a bonding experience for me, my sister (Peggy) and my mum. We headed down via train where I managed to embarrass my dear sister by forgetting that my mp3 speakers were left on (it doesnt necessarily need headphones) and not realising that Roy Orbison was blaring out into the whole carriage because I had my headphones on. We managed to negotiate the tube system and only got on the wrong train once, and we dumped our bags in the travelodge we were staying in and marvelled at our beautiful view...

Yes, a brick wall, isn't it lovely?

Once that was done it was back into the centre for Wicked. For those who haven't heard of this musical, it was a big hit on Broadway. It is basically the story of the wizard of oz, except turned on its' head. In this musical the wicked witch of the West is the good one. Wicked follows the story of Elphaba, the wicked witch of the west, from her birth til her demise at the hands of a young farm girl. Fantastic set, score and performances from all involved in this. The entire cast are extremely talented, a fact which asserts itself when I was struck dumb by some of the emsembles' voices. Special mentions go to James Gillan, who is talented and an utter sweetheart. He plays Boq, a charming Scottish munchkin with a massive crush on Galinda. Other mentions go to Idina Menzel who plays Elphaba, what a voice, and Katie Rowley Jones who plays Nessarose, again another gorgeous voice. My prediction is that Wicked will be a fixture in the West End for quite some time.

After the show a trip to the stage door was necessary as I am in fact a closet stage door fan. We got a fair few people to sign our program. Miriam Margolyes who plays Madam Morrible is a legend, so lovely and happy to sign programs. We also ran into a few fans we knew from another musical not so long ago (Taboo). We all seemed quite pleased to see each other, and me and Peggy were quite amused to see them dressed up as characters from Wicked. They are part of a Rocky Horror performing group called Less Vulnerable. Hence their penchant for costumes. After getting all the autographs we wanted and also nearly getting run over by a big red bus we headed back to sleep.

Bright and not really that early that next day we headed to camden market for shopping, I'd never been before so I do recommend it, there's some pretty stuff out there. The we went over to Vinopolis to use my dads birthday present of a wine tasting tour (I did feel bad about taking up his ticket, but it isn't my fault is he decided not to come and use it himself). We enjoyed the tour so much we came out slightly tipsy, got lost, had to ask directions from a bunch of Swiss Americans (they said they were from Switzerland but they sounded American) and had to leg it to the theatre so we wouldn't miss the matinee. There's nothing more sobering than having to run across London roads without hurting yourself.

The Last Five Years focuses on a five year long relationship with each of the couple starting at different points in the relationship. Jamie starts at the beginning, Cathy starts at the end and they work their way to when the meet in the middle at their wedding, then they split off again as Jamie works his way towards the end and Cathy moves towards the beginning. They end on a song where both of them are saying goodbye, Cathy after the first date, and Jamie for good at the end of the relationship. In my opinion after the initial confusion, this was a very moving piece of theatre, and a novel way of showing it. There wasn't a single song I didn't like and the two members of the casts' voices were brilliant. I'd definitely recommend seeing this.

Finally we had dinner in the Great Nepalese restaurant, which was lovely, and caught our train home. The lovely end to a lovely weekend.

Trainer Lola

Well I passed the course and all I have to do now is teach an actual training session with real students, under supervision to be officially known as a trainer. Yay me.

I'll admit I've been back two days but I've been too tired to blog, I considered saying I was too tired to go to work too, but I didn't think that would have gone down well, so I dragged myself into work. When I did get back on monday night I had the fantastic surprise of finding this in an email;

"Congratulations on placing third in this week's So You Think You Can Blog contest!"

Yes, I'm very proud, and I shall display my award for all to see



It's a great competition to do and does get the creative juices flowing, keep an eye out at Theory of Thought for the dates of the next So You Think You Can Blog competition.

Since I've been zombie-fied for the past few days I don't have much to say except, when you're faced with a "casualty" having a heart attack, never say,

"It's ok, you're just having a heart attack."

And that's Miss Cherry Cola's advice for today.

A long days travelling

Well ladies and gents, tomorrow I shall be crossing that boundary into the south of England. And astoundingly, I shall be driving there. Me, who has never driven further than Nottingham before. It should be quite a little adventure, me and my little Ka on the open road. At least this time I won't be having this conversation with my parents over the phone;

Me: Hey, I'm just calling to say I got to Nottingham ok.
Mum: Good, I was just thinking that we should have let you take the Skoda.
Me: Why? It's isn't like I'm travelling with someone so I don't need a bigger car.
Mum: I know, but the Skoda has breakdown cover...
Me: *speechless*

Yes, my parents are lovely people who let me go on long journeys without breakdown cover. This explains why they want so many phonecalls just to say that I'm still alive.

Anyway, the reason why this lovely Northern gal is heading south is that I'm on a four day trainers course to teach me how to teach first aid. So this blog shall be a little quiet until I get back, I don't think I'll be able to access the internet down there (but it wont be through lack of trying let me tell you). I may try mobile posting, but don't count on my being technologically savvy enough to manage it. So until I post again, be good.

Creamfields

Well, last night was one hell of a night. For those who don't know I was at Creamfields, helping to provide the first aid cover.

Just as a bit of general information, Creamfields is a 16 hour dance music event that is held in a field. This year it was in Runcorn rather than the usual venue Liverpool. Now this is not a duty where you turn up, do a couple of hours and then head home, nope, with this duty you're in it all night with maybe a couple of hours sleep if you're very lucky. We were onsite from about 1pm, and stayed onsite til 8am the next day. Between the usual cases of blistered feet there were some more interesting people and injuries.

There were the usual people who never seem to believe us when we tell them we aren't getting paid for doing the first aid cover. SJA itself is, but not the members, we're all lowly volunteers (who happen to get into top events for free, so it aint all bad).

There was the gent who didn't need treatment, but as he studied medieval history, he decided to tell us of the history of St John Ambulance and to "remember that we are warrior monks". I did feel kind of inspired but was too tired to go and beat up casualties.

There were a couple of people smuggling drugs into the event in weird and wonderful places, and on that subject I shall say no more.

There was the patient who ran off on us. He gave us his first name, Jason*, and that is all the information we had about him since once he was attached up to some oxygen he decided he was better and ran off into the night. If anyone sees him, he's a chap about yay high, a bootprint on his head and an oxygen mask around his neck.

I then spent half an hour of my rest break filling in a form just in case he was brought back in later. I only got 15 minutes sleep because of that.

There was a lovely person who had taken a bit too much and needed medical attention because of it. They felt a little idiotic and realised not to take anything next time they came along to an event like this. Also they offered to buy me a drink if they ever saw me again. Cheers!

On the darker side several people came in for advice because they had been jabbed by someone with a needle, and there were several assaults. However this year didn't bring any stabbings as far as I'm aware.

A fairly busy night anyhow. We were all dead by 6am, and had to stay operational until 7am (the time we are usually packed up and away) because of collapses outside the event. After packing up at 8am, we headed home and I slept until 4pm. Happy day.

Here's a picture taken at around 6am to show how hard we worked throughout the night...



Thanks to SJA, MRL and NWAS for working so hard last night and making it a good night.

* Not real name

I'm so excited

Argh, Creamfields! I'm quite excited and nervous for some reason, not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because I haven't been first aiding for a little while. Anyway, I shall let you know how it goes, and with pictures hopefully if people don't decide to run away from me this year, lol. Camera shy, grrr. Here's a picture from last year for you to enjoy in the meantime...

Ever get the feeling that you dont have a clue what you're doing?

Well, Lola is still not quite back to her usual bouncy self, but it doesn't matter too much. I may perk up after some more wallowing in blah-ness. I occasionally just need to be leave to be miserable for a while then I get sick of it and come out of it.

I had a course today at work, and I suffered from what is known in training circles as "information overload" the result of which is that I can't remember anything we learnt and I have a course assessment to complete. Gah. I'm hoping some kind-hearted soul in work will be won over by my adorable incompetance and help me with it.

My days seem fairly monotonous at the moment. Wake up, work, home, dinner, internet, sleep. I feel the need to get out and not sit at home every night. I'm missing Uni, the place where socialising is second nature, and where I didn't mind sitting at home, because I was glad of the rest from an active life. Now I'm working I don't see all those mates I used to see on a regular basis, and I'm missing them like hell. I think it's probably time to get out at least one weeknight, and then at the weekend too. This weekend shouldn be sorted anyhow, I shall be doing my St John Ambulance bit at Creamfields, which is usually a good but knackering night.

I tell you what, you don't realise that once you're out of Uni and working that you get very tired. I went out on Saturday night, got pretty drunk and went to bed late. I still haven't recovered. I can't wait until next september...

Another post is in order

I've been neglecting this blog a little this week. I have my reasons, most notably writers' block. There are so many things I'd like to say here but I feel restricted because of people who know me in person and know about this blog. It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I don't like to lay everything about myself down in one place. Different people I know, know different things about me. Even the one person who knows the most about me, does not know everything, although he's pretty damn close.

Even if I just threw caution to the wind, there is a fear of people getting offended by things I may post here that they may read and think I should have talked to them about rather than seeking solace on here. For me at least, I find it easier to talk to people who may be completely detached from my life and my situations rather than those who know the people involved. It really helps to discuss things without fear of starting gossip or betraying confidences.

But what the hell, to anyone who may be reading this post and knows me in real life, please be aware that certain things I say on this blog I want to stay on this blog. If I want to discuss them with you, then I will bring up the subject, otherwise please just don't ask. Do me that courtesy if nothing else.

Right now, I feel in pain, I thought things were getting better, but I've had a bit of a relapse. I can't help my feelings, and it's a bitch wanting what I can't have, or even worse wanting what I probably can't have, that every now and again just seems nearly within my grasp. Maybe if I really felt that I couldn't have it, it would be easier to get over.

Sorry for the depressing nature of this post, I needed to vent. Normal blogging shall resume shortly...

Meh.

I knew it was going to be one of those days when first thing in the morning, I strolled through the pile of dog sick in my socks. Let's hope tomorrow is better...

Just another day in the labs...

I'm settling into work nicely now, except for the fact that I only know how to do one test so far and don't know how to work a piece of machinery that I will unfortunately be using quite often. Practise will make perfect, or at the very least make me somewhat competant.

I nearly got to use a wonderful face mask today, known as The Respirator. A fantastic name, which sounds brilliant when said in the style of a movie trailer voice-over guy. In the end I didn't have time to use The Respirator and I'm feeling a little disappointed. So I experimented with more taking-off-the-labcoat styles, todays' style is known as the flasher, probably inspired by Sane Scientists' comment on my last post. The only difference is that I make sure I don't wear popper fastening clothes to work, ensuring that no one gets an eyeful. As you've probably guessed this syle involves whipping open the lab coat and holding it out before wriggling it off. I should really start a picture gallery of each style if I'm going to keep this up. Ahh the things I do to amuse myself.

On another topic, I've been taking different routes home in order to get to know the area, and avoid getting bored of the same old drives. I'm getting back to the stage where I'd love to drive out somewhere for the day, and have a good time before coming back. any suggestions of pretty areas would be welcomed. I'd like to go to Ambleside again, mainly because I love little villages, exploring the shops, cake and book shops most specifically. Really I'd like to start doing things on my weekends to make the most of them, because a person can only take so much sitting at home before they want to go out into the world, to a pretty place and chill.

I may go into Liverpool this saturday, not really far from home, but I have a minted lamb baguette craving to satisfy...

Super Scientist!

Since my last post probably wasn't all that fun to read through I bring you a gift of a light-hearted post.

In work we have to wear labcoats in the labs (it makes sense doesnt it?), and when we head out of aforementioned labs we have to take them off again, we can't wear them in the office area. This has lead to me using various techniques of taking off the labcoat.

My personal favourite is "The Superhero" thus named as it is reminiscent of all those superheroes ripping their normal clothing off to reveal their superhero outfit while rushing to save the day. I honestly do feel like a superhero doing that one. The only problem is that I can't seem to get a similar rhythm with the safety specs, they're very difficult to slip into a pocket of the labcoat while not wearing it but taking them off first ruins the whole stunningness of "The Superhero" technique.

Hmm aesthetics or functionality, which to choose?

A bit controversial for a monday night

This is probably not the ideal topic for a monday night, but something today brought it to my mind. A small disclaimer here, my views are my own and I do not apologise for them, just as I do not expect others to apologise for their own views.

While at work today I noticed an increased number of security and even police on premises (and yes I did refrain from shouting "Oh my god, they've found me!" then running away giggling, one must be a professional at work after all). Initially I wondered what it was all about (Alfie; bad joke sorry), then around lunchtime I heard a few colleagues discussing animal rights activists nearby, and then it all clicked into place. Another colleague discussed the topic with me, even down to pointing out the procedure for suspicious phonecalls. It worried me a little that just because I now work for a pharmaceutical company (even in an area where I see no animals whatsoever nevermind test on them) I could be considered a target.

This is nothing new in the grand scheme of things; ALF, an extremist animal rights group has caught the attention of the media over recent months by protesting the building of a laboratory at Oxford University. If it stopped at simple peaceful protesting I doubt many would object to their cause, however they use blatent bullying tactics to try to get their way. This has so far ranged from taking and publishing photographs of the builders working on the site (with the result that the builders have to wear balaclavas to protect their identity) to declaring that anyone associated with Oxford University is a viable target. This includes students of the University; students who may not even be studying science subjects or may in fact be against animal testing themselves. These tactics amount to nothing more than terrorism in my eyes.

Any guesses on my stance on animal testing? Well as you probably realise, I strongly believe in the animal testing in medical and pharmaceutical research. However I do not support animal testing for other reasons such as cosmetics. My reasoning is that medicines are essential to life, lipstick is not (although I have no doubt that some women out there believe it is). How many people have been saved due to drugs or procedures that initially had to be tested on animals?

Animal rights protesters proclaim that animal research is uneccessary, I disagree. Speaking from a pharmaceutical perspective animal testing is vital. Drugs need to go through various levels of testing before they can be administered to humans. These tests aim to reduce the level of risk a human volunteer is exposed to when taking the drug. If animal testing was not done, volunteering for drug trials would be tantamount to suicide.

Many protesters claim that there are alternatives to animal testing, well unfortunately there isn't. There are no methods available to recreate an entire living organism, and this is what drugs testing requires to begin to weed out any possible adverse effects. Again it is a case of reducing the risk to humans who take the drug. Also the law in Britain requires that, where an alternative exists to a procedure using animals, it must be used. This law alone should show that we are still some way off from finidng that alternative.

Finally, scientists are not sadists, many will gladly use alternatives when they become available. Right now however, to keep pushing for cures for disease animals must be used. To those who disagree I will ask a question;

If you or someone you cared about was seriously ill would you refuse a drug that would cure you/them because it had been tested on animals?

I know a lot of people wouldn't, the greater good is needed for the greater number, and millions of people will and have benefitted as a result of animal research.

If anyone wants more information on the positive aspects of animal testing, here's a couple of links for your viewing pleasure;

Animal Rights Myths - some common misconceptions about animal testing
Pro-test - standing up for science

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The wonders of the subconscious mind

I woke up this morning to a recollection of a strange dream. In this dream the world was going to end, I wasn't exactly sure how or why but I was aware that Armageddon was approaching. So what was I doing in my dream at this point? Well I was lying outside in the rain, did I mention I was naked? It's not quite a technique for surviving Armageddon that I'd recommend but it was certainly a novel one. Anyway, in the dream the world didn't actually end so I went back inside to dry off.

Whenever I remember a dream that I can't interpret myself I tend to turn to The Dream Dictionary to work out what it all means.

Armageddon: Represents a deep rooted fear that my world is about to change dramatically or represents feeling hopeless and out of control.

Rain: Since I was getting wet, apparently it symbolises that I will soon be cleansed from my troubles and problems

Nakedness: Since in the dream I wasn't embarrased by my nudity, it seems to symbolise that I am being more honest with myself and others about who I am, and the coming of a more carefree nature.

A fair few of these do ring a bell. Due to a situation I'm in at the moment, I feel like I'm at the end of an era and hopefully the rain will come and make me a happy carefree person again.

One last thing, for those of you who remember my little bump in the car, the car went in for its' service and MOT and it turns out I've been driving in a deathtrap. I managed to twist the suspension, and it caused one side of the tire to wear down, apparently it was so worn down it could have blown out at any moment. Yes, I know I should check my tires, but I passed my test before we had to do all this lifting up the bonnet and checking the oil milarky. Maybe I'll check them in future. I have a feeling I'm going to regret telling my parents that I'd pay to get the damage fixed...

21 going on 80

I went shopping today after work, and somewhere in the middle of a trendy young store I stopped and felt old. Maybe it was the fact that I was still in my boring work clothes, maybe it was the young girls giggling as I tried up a pair of pedal pushers up against me, or maybe it was just a combination of the two. I definitely feel too old to go out and buy a pair of pedal pushers, yet I will gladly roll my jeans up to pedal pusher length on a hot day, which is a little bizarre I admit. Also while I'm on the subject of feeling old, when did combat trousers become tight? I remember in my day when combats were nice and loose, perfect for slobbing around in. Now today I come to find some lovely slobbing pants (pants in the trouser sense, not the knicker sense) and the eejits have made them skin tight, what is the point? I don't want to show off my booty, I just want loose slobby pants. Now I feel old.

I'm living clean

Work is seriously tiring me out. I'm not used to being up early, and I'm starting to get that strange thought that work is taking over my life. It's a strange thought as it's only my second day on the job. My theory is that I'll feel better about it once I'm used to it and dont feel as tired. At the moment, I'm up at 6 am, home at 6pm, then I'm too shattered to do anything other than rest.

Anyway, you don't want to hear about that. I had my medical today, just for them to make sure I wasn't gonna drop dead on them any time soon (they have to get their money's worth out of me). The nurse was nice enough, although during the eye test when I mentioned I was short-sighted she replied, "Oh, I know. It's fairly obvious." I don't know what tipped her off, it may have been when she said, "Can you read line B2?" and instead of even guessing I said "Um, no."

You'll also be glad to know I'm completely drug free, we had to take a urine test. Just a brief warning that this next part may be too much information for you all. I think anyone who's ever had a urine test will agree with me when I say peeing into the little cup is fairly difficult. I must have been there for 10 minutes at the very least. I really needed the toilet, but I didnt want to go in the toilet first just in case I didn't have enough left to fill the cup. So all I'm going to say is that it's a good job I have good bladder control. Suffice to say I don't want to take another one any time soon.

Night night all, it's my bedtime.

I'm a working girl (not in the hooker sense)

First day of work has really tired me out, I'm not used to getting up at 6 am. Despite the tiredness it was a really good day and my co-workers all seem to be nice people.

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about. I've decided I must learn Turkish. I had a lovely conversation with a Turkish friend of mine on msn. She doesn't speak much English, I speak hardly any turkish. But still we managed to have a conversation. It was mostly in English, but occasionally with some Turkish thrown in if she didn't understand what I was saying. Ok, it involved me sitting there flicking through my Turkish/English dictionary, but I was glad I did. I have a lot of respect for this girl due to the fact that although she doesnt know much English, she doesn't stay shy and hold back. Instead she tries to speak as much as she can, not overly worried about a mistake or two. That's pretty much the opposite of me when I'm learning a language, I worry about making a mistake so much that I avoid speaking it sometimes. That must come to an end, by next year I want to be at least conversational level in Turkish.

One drawback so far, I don't have a teacher. Anyone know of anyone looking to teach Turkish?