Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Lola's Guide to Pooing in Work

1) Pick a time when the loo is at it's most secluded.

2) Get your business *ahem* done in there as quickly as possible.

3) Flush straight after, but before wiping. This is commonly known as a courtesy flush, and is a lifesaver if your poo would horrify (not Dr) Gillian McKeith.

4) Wipe and flush again.

5) Remember the loo brush is your friend, no one wants to see your skid marks.

6) Hopefully by following these steps then there should be no one around, and the toilet shouldn't smell (much). So take your time washing your hands, and head back to work.

Yes, as neurotic as I am I managed to poo in work (well I was desperate). I don't think I'll be making a habit of it, but it is kind of funny to think that while you're on the toilet you're still getting paid. The only thing that could be better is an overtime toilet trip. I sure hope my employers aren't reading this...


KindaBlue said...

I have half a mind to distribute this to some of my colleagues. Goodness knows they need to read it...

LazyBuddhist said...

Good practical tips. However, you failed to account for dumpus interuptus, when someone enters the bathroom mid dump. Flush and clench or flush and flee? That is the question.

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